Tell It How It Is

Chillax

2005-09-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

Finally, a Saturday morning where we can chillax. No early morning soccer, no nothing. Only my warm bed and a bowl of oatmeal.

I went for a walk down the street and this car drove down the wrong side of the road, because they thought it'd be cool for a change. They didn't realise a bus was coming the other way however, and their reckless behaviour made this bus swerve and CRASH into a electricity tower. Everyone shat themselves (except for me, because I am bad-ass). This caused the tower to crash and all the overhead wires came down electrocuting approximately 26 people and a dog. As you all know it was raining like jesus and all the electricity wires came down in the water which created a giant short circuit, causing a giant spark to jump over to the next tower which made it explode. The explosion was so powerful i was propelled into the air and flew through this window of a nearby house.

Mike Tyson was living in the house and he thought he was a fucking trooper. So i ripped his head of and ate it, just to prove i am more bad-ass than he is. It ruled.

Ugly chicks

2005-08-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, noone likes them.

Ah finally

2005-08-30T03:24:00.000-07:00

Now that we have finally been removed from Wizza's blog, we have the freedom to post all we like without Wagga reading it.

We'll be back in those links before you can say "Wagga machine".

FUCK YOU WAGGA AND FUCK YOUR FUCKING BLOG AS WELL. GO THE FUCK HOME YOU FUCK.

I'm not quite sure whether that was justified, but, here we have it, top 10 reasons why we didn't want to be linked in the first place.

10. We didn't want to be linked in the first place because we said so.
9. Wagga's nickname is made up by us.
8. WAGGA BITCHES ABOUT NOT HAVING A BITCH WHICH IN TURN MAKES HIM A FUCKING BITCH SO REALY HE SHOULD BITCH ABOUT NOT HAVING A DUDE TO FUCK HIM SILLY ON A SUNDAY.
7. He failed neuroscience
6. We can't be friends with neuroscience failures, even though we probably wouldn't fare any better. I COULD FUCKING PASS IT WITH MY EYES FUCKING CLOSED!!!!!!!!
5. He is doing physio but have we got a massage yet? I THINK NOT!!!!!
4. HE'S A FUCKING CRACKER AND NEVER BLOGS ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING HIT BY FUCKING BUSSES AND SHITTING THEMSELVES IN THE STREET.
3. We think he is flirting with us.
2. He doesn't know how to spell fashizzle.
1. Wagga abused Emma, which is bad because we like Emma a lot. She is a great person and has no attitude at all. We also like the French and their exquisite cuisine.

AND, THE THINGS WE WILL MISS ABOUT BEING LINKED...

THAT IS ALL.

this blog isn't dead Wagga, it's nowhere near as dead as nick's sex life.

GASHUKEEE

2005-07-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

i'm going to get wasted tonight.
that's how it is.

4:30 news

2005-06-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

the 4:30 news is better than Go Go Stop, there i said it.

Go Go Stop

2005-06-19T23:49:00.000-07:00

WITHOUT DOUBT THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING TV SHOW I'VE EVER FUCKING SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTIME I WATCH IT, I GET A LITTLE BIT DUMBER!

firstly it is filled with dumb ass fuck questions such as this one (i shit you not this was actually a question on the piece of shit show!) : which is bigger? a) new york city. b) perth. what the crap do i look like! AND THE WORST THING ABOUT THE THING IS THAT THE KIDS GET THE QUESTIONS WRONG ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!

new rule: if you're dumb, stay off tv!
and all the kids are ugly too! whats up with that!

ugly dumb kids. they should put on some hot little potentials. then i wouldnt give a shit how stupid the questions are. you know what im talking about, dont tell me you dont agree!

and the board is a rip off of the giant keyboard on amazing! now there was a show with some class!

bring back the big arvo and get this piece of shit out of my house.

AND THE FUCKING HOST SHOULD GET A FUCKING HAIR CUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Born again christians are NOT special.

2005-06-08T19:27:00.001-07:00

The hate i have for born again christians is great. So great, that Anakin Skywalker would be jealous of my hate. He'd look at me and go "fuck, that is some angry angry hate. I wish i could have summoned that much hate when i force choked padme because that made no sense whatsoever in episode III"

I went on a websearch for a definition of a born again christians. hightruth.com states that "only Jesus can enliven you by bringing the life of God into you to give you a new birth, a new life. Only thus can you be born again to be a Christian, a Christ-man, an adherent of Jesus Christ, full of life, joy, peace, rest, purpose, and fulfillment in God."

Awesome. May the God be with you.

Let me turn this into a mathematical equation.
Let A = some sad cookie cutter loser who can't get laid.
Let B= Jesus
Let C= the life story of A involving B
Let D= me wanting to punch A into the face.

A + C = D^99999999999999999999999

There is one thing i hate more than born again christians, and that's the stories they tell.
It always goes like this:

"I was some sad cookie cutter loser who couldn't get laid.
BUT THEN, i found Jesus. now my life rocks. I am special. I shall now sing a song about it to you"

1) they are still not getting laid. instead they pray and bake cookies while singing a song about praying and baking cookies
2) your song sucks
3) your song sucks balls

WTF is up with finding Jesus? Last time i checked he hasn't been seen for approximately 2005 years and 6 months. Guess what? YOU DIDN'T FIND JESUS. You are WRONG. On top of that, i have a newsflash.

*NEWFLASH*
You are not special. Not even in the "my mom says i'm special" way.

There are a few million of you crappy born again christians, and that makes you unspecial. Your story about your life is crap and I'd rather watch the Wiggles perform their pirate song while continously rolling in broken glass than hear your bitch-ass life story. Shut the fuck up. Those children in wheelchairs with Down syndrome, THEY are special. you are not. and NO, pretending you have Down syndrome and riding a wheelchair will not make you it either. But you should try, because then it'll be easier to beat you in the head with that big-ass statue of Mary i stole from the rose gardens.

I hate born again christians.

Slow drivers

2005-05-06T15:21:00.000-07:00

FUCKING FUCK!

BLOGS

2005-05-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING POINTLESS PIECES OF SHIT!!!!!!! NO ONE GIVE A FLYING MCFUCK ABOUT THE FUCKING EVENTS OF A FUCKING DAY TO FUCKING DAY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!! FOR FGUCKS SAKE!!! IM SO MAD I CANT EVEN TYPWE PROPER;LY!!!!!

Ok, that was the rant. Now seriously....
Mykiela, stop posting stuff like "i woke up this morning, took a dump, ate some pie with a fork, had a wack then caught the 102 bus with kathleen and went to sleep". seriously, it's not very exciting to read at all. AND NO ONES GIVES A FLUYING FUCK!! A BLOG IS NOT A FUCKING JOURNALl! if you want to keep a record of your thoughts, do it on your own fucking time! fucking fucks!

and as for you rick rucas! "oh, i can type 105 words per minute and am so bored at the moment cos i am struggling with my uni assignment." EVERY TIME I VISIT YOUR FUCKING SITE I DIE LITTLE ON THE INSIDE! Well....it's actually not that bad. BUT, stop whining about getting creative, TRY TO BEAT THIS ENTRY FOR STARTERS! we rule....!

Mykiela...when you DO decide to talk about your day, at least make it exciting. Make up a bus crash or make up something about someone shitting their pants, that's quality entertainment we want to read about.

so, i was walking down the street today, and this bus, CRASHED! right next to me. it was funny and scary. marty shat his pants. i laughed when i saw it, then i too shat my pants. it smelled and we were the neighbourhood disgrace. it smelled funny. i really should take a shower.

NOW THATS A FUCKING BLOG ENTRY!!!!!!!!!

Eddy: Stopping our CD

2005-02-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

God damn him! damn him straight to hell.
when someone is listening, creating, or looking at a cd, you WILL not stop him or her. or else you will be brutally punished. just ask eddy. he discovered this the hard way. and to make matters worse; he is ugly! what a little bitch!
eddy, learn from your mistakes! it's ok, we still love you, just a little bit less!
i hope we have brightened up your lives!

Dale: Cricket Commentators

2004-11-26T01:24:00.000-08:00

NO one gives a SHITE!
on the subject who cares about cricket commentators. no one cares who got ejected from the commentry box. and no one wants to hear about such shit! and who gives a fuck if we spell wrong while we blog. we are hungry and hurrying. no just kidding. but seriously, we are hungry and in a hurry.
We also do not give a flying fuck about other useless crap like Kiwi prime ministers speeding to a rugby game. A) rugby sucks B) New zealand sucks C) Speeding is ok.

Todays Lesson: get over useless shit and move on to important things like a real life! something that is happening to people. seriously we dont care! i mean we do care, but we actually dont, about this, which is bad and so we dont care about it.

we still love you just a little bit less. i hope this will brighten up your life and make you all just a little bit better.

Introduction

2004-11-23T18:37:00.000-08:00

This blog was created on 23rd November 2004 by two very attractive young men in Adelaide, Australia. You may wonder, what is this all about? Well, over the coming days, or weeks, maybe even months (pretty much until we get sick of it) we will be posting a series of life's little lessons which include examples of people that we all know and love. If you get the privilledge of having a blog entry written about you, please do not take it as a negative, rather as a gentle push in the right direction. Of course, these are just the opinions of two boys and they will sometimes be right, and sometimes be just opinions. But they are always right! Not really just kidding, but seriously, they are always right...

we look forward to further improving your life in the coming posts.